I held Anna with one hand, while loading the dishwasher with the other. She had her bottle and was tilting her head back to suck on it.

 

“Took my love, took it down,” the radio sang. “Climbed a mountain and I turned around.”

 

I froze. It was Charlie singing. It was his voice I heard, not that of Fleetwood Mac.

 

“And I saw my reflection in snow covered hills

Until a Landslide brought me down.”

 

Charlie’s voice was rich, melodious; I saw his face lost in the notes as it always was at his piano.

 

“Oh mirror in the sky what is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?”

 

I gripped onto the sink. I was shattering. Oh, Charlie . . .

 

“Well I’ve been afraid of changes

Cause I’ve built my life around you.

But time makes you bolder,

Even children get older

And I’m getting older too.”

 

I could see him rocking Tabitha. Then he was driving me to Betty’s Café on our second date.

 

“Oh take my love take it down.

Climb a mountain and turn around.

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, Well the landslide will bring it down.”

 

I slumped to the floor. Terror closed over my heart. All I could do was rock, rock, trying to hold the terror off. Anna swayed with me, sucking her milk in my trembling arms.

[Excerpt Landslide, Page 364]